..................

You know this thing is creeping me out a bit.

Who in Russia want to look at a blog from a little known country halfway around the world?

I'm just a bit curious.

Is it possible for you guys to leave a comment so I know who makes up a large part of my audience?

Well this is something that came back to bite me in the ass...

Originally posted in March this year - I did not follow my own advice, I allowed myself to be drawn in.

Velvet Revolution????

It seems everyone in Guyana is in overdrive as general elections kick into high gear. The PPP, PNC, AFC, other groups and individuals are stating their cases in the various sections of the media. They can be seen in newspapers; in the editorials, the letters from supposedly real persons, articles and even comic strips, on television and on the internet also. I guess the radio station is quiet because that is government controlled.

Many blogs dig deep for information on their enemies, cars bought in 1990 are being questioned now, homes are being photographed and displayed in the media. These types of antics will increase as elections day approaches; politics is indeed a dirty game. In most cases the one that is least covered in dirt emerges as the victor; this is also subjective as the actions of politicians are interpreted differently by the various heterogeneous groups that coexist in Guyana.

........................................................................................................

At this point in my life I could care less with the state of affairs in Guyana, however, I will vote that day but it doesn't matter. Either ways the PPP will win the next elections regardless of whether they play fair .....or not.

So I will continue in my introspection, turn my nose up at the velvet revolution, forget about the Guylines that I never experienced and forget about who stole billions of dollars from the treasury.

I will work hard so that I can provide food for my family, thank God for the many mercies granted to me and live to see another day.

It is not my fight to fight, it is not my road to walk, it is not my line to "toe", it is not my burden to bear. To those of you who intend to be drawn in to this false concept that we need a velvet revolution, good luck and I bid you farewell.

Mirror Image

The still waters of the Essequibo River is not reflective of the wrath of this dangerous beast. Oftentimes it is literally gut wrenching to traverse this deadly passage with its cloudy waters crashing into your vessel as if taunting you to step out and face it or should I say take it like a man. There is no glossy covering, no shimmering reflection of anything, there is just pure evil in its intent to maul and ravage you. It just want to inflict pain and suffering. It does not put on a show, it doesn't care about what you think. It is the one who is in charge. Yet at this time, this beast is resting. It lazily rolls around like a swan engaging in a ritualistic dance. It is here for a show, it mimics the sky; a stunning imitation that seems surreal. It seems to be saying, "who me? I wouldn't hurt a fly". It is the perfect example of tranquility transforming into chaos then back again into tranquility. There is no peace. There is no hope. You just wait with bated breath for the inevitable change. This is no show of weakness, not even a show of meekness. It is resting, re-energizing itself for the onslaught that will happen in a few hours time. This is the nature of a wolf in sheep's clothing. This is the hidden nature of man...

Simple Life

This photograph was taken in Canal #2 Polder, West Bank Demerara, Guyana. It may seem like a painting, however, it is not, it is yet another byproduct of false labeling as so foisted upon us by the Chinese. The so-called 8 megapixels yielded this quality of photograph. 

Anyways back to the painting ... I mean photograph. 

In times like these in Guyana, where the order of the day is to patten yourself off of the Americans; based on what is shown on television. Which is false by the way. I was told that many of the moral values of Americans are fairly intact and its only the rich and famous and some vagabonds that engage in such lascivious and immoral behaviors. We can probably label the rich and famous as vagabonds then? 

It is quite peaceful to look upon such beauty, such greenery as a cow lazily eats the natural food placed before her by God. To look at the vast expanses of land devoid of noticeable development, no concrete jungle, just pure and simple agriculture, simply practiced.

Standing in solitude, in the background, but in the center of this photograph is a majestic silk cotton tree. As a forester, standing more that a mile away, I could still spot this king. This tree might have been planted by the Dutch or could be an offspring of one such tree. Nevertheless it still stands, hopefully no one will place a chainsaw at its base anytime in the future in the name of development ... or poverty. 

I gaze at the sight before me, thinking of simpler times, of times when I had no responsibilities, when I was free. Free to do what I what. However, such times are no more and I'm grateful for that. Honestly...

Yet I wish I can retreat to places like these, once in a while. To refresh myself  and thoughts so I can face my responsibilities with an invigorated mind.

Essequibo Sunset

Sunset over the Essequibo River always seem magical or mystical. The dark, dreary clouds block the sun's last stance. They engulf him, forcing him beyond the horizon as he struggles to his inevitable end. He had fought a good fight and did his duty well but now his strength is gone and he is jaded.



Darkness approaches, as streaks of the sun's light penetrate the clouds and hit the water. Rough waters rejoicing at the coming of the darkness. They roar and roll, frolicking as demonic horses neighing the the conquering of the light by the Dark One.



The winds blow cold and wet seemingly complementing the raucous waves, steadily humming a dark hymn of destruction.



The darkness will soon prevail and the Dark One will rise. But his time is short. Joy cometh in the Morning.

A piece of heaven

The murky waters rippled gently as the weak wind blew through the trees, which swayed lazily as if time didn't matter. The sun was sinking slowly, casting gloomy and ghostly shadows over the unknown stream. Suckers planted on the banks of the stream alluded to human interference on this otherwise natural and picturesque landscape.

People pay a great sum of money to find themselves in these types of surroundings, where they can have their "own" stream, luscious fruit trees in their backyard, wild (but not dangerous) animals on their land, waking up to the joyous chorus of the birds in the morning and falling asleep to the sounds of the croaking frogs and chirping cricket. The sound of rain falling on the zinc roof and the room dimly lit by the low wattage incandescent bulb hanging from the rafters create a warm cozy feeling that takes you back to the happy places in your life. The sound of the stream tricking by adds to calm that surrounds you.

Sadly, these simple things in life are overlooked in the modern world where everyone wants to be the most successful, the most rich and the most powerful person they could be. These ambitions usually cause many families to break up as wives, husbands and children are often neglected.

We spend our lives making money to provide for our families but end up losing them in the long term. We save our money to buy a piece of heaven for our retirement but spend our lives in hell....

Cherish the time you spend with your family, enjoy the simple outdoor living for a few days, buy your peace of mind.

Stoned....

Take me away, back into the clouds of euphoria, floating around without a care in the world. Music moves me, its a powerful drug, more addictive than many, many guilty pleasures. I daresay even more addictive than cocaine, sex/porn and alcohol.

It touches you on so many levels, lift you up, throws you down, gets your heart racing then lets you wind down to a gentle stop.

I love listening to songs composed in the Minor Scales, its said to be melancholic and depressing. But this is what calms me, I'm a dark person literally, perhaps I'm also dark figuratively.

I close my eyes and drift away, inhaling the deep soulful melancholic sounds, like a powerful drug, I keep coming back for more. I find my alone time here. Peaceful..

Listening to Lovestoned as I type, think of clouds as I hear the strings of a violin being tweaked, thinking of my wife, thinking of calm, thinking of my daughter....

God made music for man to enjoy, find your corner and think of His beautiful world and the many things He placed on it for you to enjoy.

Ahh...music in the minor scales...keeps me rambling on for no reason...my addiction...my drug...

Ordinary life

If you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes, then you'd really understand what it's like to sing the blues - That was a line from the song "What It's Like" by Everlast

Many people look at me, at my car, my house, my quick elevation within the company I work for and probably think I'm working for a huge salary. I've made it big, I've hit the jackpot, I'm one of them rich ones they say.

First of all, everything I own is as a result of the blessings of God. Secondly, my wife and family all contributed to what we have so it is basically a collective blessing.

There were times in my life where I had to borrow money to survive and keep my home from being repossessed. Many times I wanted to take a day off and spend money wantonly behind frivolous things. I may have done so a few times but I've learned from the error of my ways.

It would have been nice to live a carefree life, make a set of children in the hopes that one day when I'm old, one of them will look after me. But I'm not built that way, my parents never raised be to be like that. I learned about hard work (not necessarily manual labour) in my early years and I was told to study hard to get an education.

Education is the vehicle out of poverty and I strongly believe it to be so. However, determination, application and integrity are the controls of that vehicle and ultimately the road of success will be seem to be gentle rolling plains instead of rugged mountain trails.

I write this not to boast or brag about my accomplishments, my wife is far greater than me but I write this to reflect on my ordinary life and I'm grateful for the values instilled in me by my mother and her example of working with blood sweat and tears intermingled.

My ordinary life compels me to speak out against persons who pity themselves who say they can't do better, who does not ensure their children go to school to educate themselves. My heart burns when I see them drinking for days and smoke like chimneys, money used to destroy their lives could have been spent on food for their children or books for them to go to school.

They say "one one dutty build dam" - every dollar saved and thoughtfully used can put you on the path to a better life. However, there are many who love the sad circumstances surrounding them and have no intentions of securing the future of their children.

I feel nothing for them and their apparent largeheartedness towards others, charity begins at home, make sure your children's future are secure. I pity the children of parents like these.

Ignorance is a bad thing, knowledge is power... how do you teach that to the ignorant?

Wandering mind...

The constant noise emanating out of the AC unit sounds like the roar of the ocean waves, relentlessly pounding away at the little fortress of sanity left inside of me. I imagine myself sitting on the seawall looking outwards at the waves as they come rolling towards me like clockwork. They are neither gentle or rough, their texture and demeanor lies somewhere in between those two extremes.

I have never known such middle grounds, never found the balance in life people always talk about. The people close to me have noted time and again that I'm always at the end of the bell curve, never on the curve, never in the normal range, never moderate. This can be either bad or good, they see it as bad. To me its all semantics, either I'm a genius or I'm insane, I'm either brilliant or I'm a dunce, I'm either very passive or very aggressive. Either way I lose.

The noise remains constant as the cool wind blows across my face. I could swear I heard a rumbling somewhere, it could be the traffic on the road or my mind playing tricks on me...again. The cream walls that surround me gives off the ambiance of a cold hard concrete jungle. I miss the real jungle.

My bosses seem to realize that I need some time away from the office. I are practically begging me to go into the forest to interact with the other staff, to build connection, to clear my mind, to return renewed and recharged.

My eyes are burning, probably bloodshot because of staring at the laptop screen for so long. I feel physically drained, it could be because of the diet I'm on. Perhaps not as the food is good. Perhaps its a mental issue. The body will willing but the mind is wandering.

Wandering mind, unstable thoughts, indecisive or very decisive, stubborn, feeling somewhat caged. To keep my sanity, whats left of it, I need to impose boundaries on myself. The time will come for me to fly...the time is not now...

At the fork in the road.....

When you arrive at that intersection in your life where the single path branches off into three or four tracks, you often wish you could look into the future and peer through the mist to see what lies ahead in those unexplored regions. To have a chance to strategize, replicate, replay and enact the various scenarios needed to embark on the journey through one of these trails. Experiences, emotions and circumstances that have brought you to this juncture will most likely play an important role in helping you choose the path you feel is best for you to reach your destiny.

It is times like these you need to stand still, to meditate, to force your mind to project into the future, to extrapolate those trajectories into the unknown regions to illuminate the little space so you can have a glimpse of what is in store for you. Do not move, do not look back, stand still and let the trajectories recoil through you to the time of their origins, then let them push through once again, colliding with your mind and into the unexplored pathways. Do it over and over again.

Eventually you will understand which path you need to take. Another may choose a different path and call you a fool for the decisions you make but your destiny is not similar to theirs, your circumstances are not the same, your journey leads you elsewhere......

Deception

Looks like a nice place to relax with friends....so surreal and picturesque. Appearances can be very deceiving......

Pondering.......Jar of Hearts

I was listening to the song Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri which sounds very similar to Beyonce's Halo. Because of this fact I did not pay much attention to the video except to just look at the beautiful Ms. Perri.

I've had my heart broken a few times and I guess I might have wounded a few myself. Its a kind of f!#ked up feeling, I often wondered what I did wrong to that person for them to treat me so cruel. Then you would hear - "its not you, its me"......well that doesn't really change the situation eh. You still wonder why the b!tch left.....well anyways the song has connected quite well with me......for the wrong reason.....

I'm the villain here, I broke someone's heart and I tried to make amends by contacting the person to offer my apologies and probably answered the questions I would have asked some of the young ladies who would have collected various fragments of my broken heart. Probably in this situation the person should have told me to shove it or sang this song to me...... I guess the best answer is probably the one that the young ladies gave to me - "its not you, its me".

I mean really...what right do I have to tell an exgirlfriend that I want to contact her.....the past is the past. Who knows what thoughts I might have brought up....I probably made the young lady unhappy....or angry. Probably I'm thinking too much.....probably I think too much of myself to think that I would evoke such thoughts after such a long time......

But still the haunting words linger in my mind, my thoughts, my conscience.....

Who do you think you are

Running leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

Tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Who do you think you are

The Public Masters

We all aspire for many things in life; a family, a roof over our head, a nice paying job, a fashionable car and a chance to enjoy the finer things in life. I'm no different I can't say that I'm suffering or I lack the basic necessities in life nor can I say I know what it feels like to survive on a public servant's salary.....not the ones working for the super salaries but the ordinary clerks and supervisors in most government offices.

We wonder why these people demand bribes and work in a lackadaisical manner, sometimes we cuss them under our breath as we endure some of their crass mannerisms as they arrogantly display the superficial power they hold over at that particular time we visit their office to have our needs met. They are not public servants...they are the public masters.

Afterwards, they pack up their belongings and look at the office clock to see when it will reach 16:30 hrs, most times 10 minutes would elapse then they would make a mad rush towards the exit as if just being released from prison. They hurriedly walk to catch a waiting bus or even walk to the park, some chatter, others silently thinking of the things left unfinished at home.

I sat silently observing them as they pass by, most of them appear to be smiling at the mediocre job "well done" for the day, happy at the number of persons they have managed to piss off, happy for the extra "raise" they got for slipping in a latecomer's application into the pile that has been sitting on their desks for over a day, for putting those bigshots in their place and letting them know who the bosses are.....

....but I see through them, I see the hurt in their eyes, when you look at them, they can't hold your gaze, they turn away, they cry silently for help, for a better life, for a life like the bigshots they exert their dominance over....

I watch them change from the ferocious office beasts to mellow little mice as they enter the minibuses as they think of beasts they have to face when they reach home......

Floating on Cloud 9

It is not often that I get to soar with the eagles, get off the ground and truly clear my mind. It is refreshing to have a different perspective to the situations that affect or impact on your life, your dreams.... your being. Being in a noisy aircraft, with the constant whirring monotonous sound that created my throbbing headache half an hour before, seemed to fade into the background as I concentrated on the white landscape before me. My thoughts crossed my mind, pleasant thoughts, warm thoughts, thoughts of fantasy lands, fairy tales and hope filled my mind for those few minutes we floated through these clouds. All the while, the song Kiss From A Rose by Seal seemed to be emanating from the whirring of the plane engines........but did you know, that when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen........

Velvet Revolution????

It seems everyone in Guyana is in overdrive as general elections kick into high gear. The PPP, PNC, AFC, other groups and individuals are stating their cases in the various sections of the media. They can be seen in newspapers; in the editorials, the letters from supposedly real persons, articles and even comic strips, on television and on the internet also. I guess the radio station is quiet because that is government controlled.

Many blogs dig deep for information on their enemies, cars bought in 1990 are being questioned now, homes are being photographed and displayed in the media. These types of antics will increase as elections day approaches; politics is indeed a dirty game. In most cases the one that is least covered in dirt emerges as the victor; this is also subjective as the actions of politicians are interpreted differently by the various heterogeneous groups that coexist in Guyana.

........................................................................................................

At this point in my life I could care less with the state of affairs in Guyana, however, I will vote that day but it doesn't matter. Either ways the PPP will win the next elections regardless of whether they play fair .....or not.

So I will continue in my introspection, turn my nose up at the velvet revolution, forget about the Guylines that I never experienced and forget about who stole billions of dollars from the treasury.

I will work hard so that I can provide food for my family, thank God for the many mercies granted to me and live to see another day.

It is not my fight to fight, it is not my road to walk, it is not my line to "toe", it is not my burden to bear. To those of you who intend to be drawn in to this false concept that we need a velvet revolution, good luck and I bid you farewell.

Linkin Park - Burning In The Skies (International Video)

One of the new songs on Linkin Park's A Thousand Suns.

This song grew on me, its haunting chorus is infectious. I'm partial to minor melancholic melodies so this one takes me to another place.

My daughter was ill for a few days and the haunting chorus made me pray to God to heal her.

"So don't apologise, I'm losing what I don't deserve"

I know I'm not the best father...or husband or anything...but I wouldn't want to lose my baby girl even if I don't deserve her. Thats why I prayed.....because God, through His grace and mercy gave her to me. I can not demand, I can only beg and plead with Him.....

Linkin Park - "Leave Out All The Rest"

I feel very connected to this song. The words, the beat, the instruments and the minor undertones take me to another place. It makes me realise that there are cracks in my shell and the people I love and am supposed to protect are not confident in my ability to deliver when I'm called to do so.

As depressing as it is, knowing how far one has fallen can motivate that person to redeem himself......