I'm surrounded by people but I still feel alone
I'm involved in many conversations but not really a part of them
I'm supposed to be valuable but I'm treated like shit
I'm praised for my ideas but no credit is given
The uneven scale always weighs against me I never get a good measure
The silver lining has not appeared in behind the dark cloud
The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow contained nothing
The day of this dog appeared to have been given to someone else
I rant and I rave against the injustices that have befallen me
I write and I blog about the things that burden my heart
I sulk and I grumble, I'm a grouch for trivial things
I linger on the hurtful things, the misplaced trust, the failed me
Some say I'm pessimistic, others a realist
They are many who want to classify me as AntiGovernment
Should my opinion matter? Are you the authority on all subjects?
Should I accept your opinions as universal truths?
I rant and I rave, I question authority
I know one truth and I truth only
Jesus Is God, he is my Saviour
So I will speak my mind, I will not be silenced
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Consequences of Drinking
“Suresh! Why you have to drink so much? You have a young daughter; don’t you want to see her grow up? You are a Christian! I will tell the Pastor what you’re doing and he will remove you from the Choir!” She continued to babble on and on, while I just listened, thinking of an excuse to cut her off. “Babe, the phone battery is going dead, I have to go now, besides the boss is calling for me again”. I wiped my brow and headed back to the table. “Boy you better control that woman of yours, she’s interrupting my mood”, Mr. Khan said as he took another sip of his Premium Beer.
Eventually we finished bar hopping at around midnight, I took Mr. Khan home then continued the long drive to Mon Repos. I thought a lot about what Sunita said, Maliha was just a few months old and I had made a promise I would change my behaviour and be a good example, a good father to her. I replayed the events of the night in my head and planned my activities for the morning. Finally, I reached home, parked the car and went straight to the guest bedroom. No arguments and no fights, that’s how I liked it.
Sunita was in a sour mood that morning but she made breakfast and packed my lunch. Maliha was excited to see me, I held her a bit in my arms as I prepared to leave home. “Should I expect you home at midnight again?” Sunita asked dryly. “No babes, I’ll try to make it home early”, I said softly as I kissed Maliha and drove off.
My first stop was the University of Guyana; I had enrolled for a program there and had to pick up my UG ID card. I had shaved and dressed neatly for once, I wanted to make sure I looked good in the photo. The security guard glanced at me as if to say morning sir, but I ignored her and continued up the stairs to the Admissions section. Everything was processed quickly and I got my ID card, I hurried down the stairs, as I needed to attend a meeting at 10:00 hrs. Glancing at the ID to make sure everything was correct, I missed my footing and fell down the stairs. I was more embarrassed than hurt, as I gathered myself and hobbled down the remainder of the stairs.
I barely made it to the bottom and asked the guard, the one I just snubbed, if I could borrow her seat. I took off my socks to see my ankle was swollen so badly it was bigger than a cricket ball. The guard and a cleaner brought ice to put on the ankle, they blamed UG for not having better steps, reassured me everything was going to be fine and advised me to go to the Medical Center for treatment.
I called Sunita and told her what happened, she was speechless. I told her not to worry and I’ll call her when I decided on my next course of action. I then called Mr. Khan and explained that I will miss the meeting due to the injury. He suggested he can take me to Balwant Singh Hospital as my medical card would get me in quickly there. I thanked him and told him I will update him later. I cursed as I limped back to my car; 100 feet never seemed so long. I flopped down in the driver seat and sped off to the Medical Center; I parked as close as possible and hopped for an eternity until I reached to door of the Center.
The medic pressed the ankle in various places to see where hurts, everywhere hurts. He then decided to remove liquid that accumulated using a syringe, I didn’t think it was a good idea but didn’t object. The man pulled out about 2 syringes of blood and I nearly fainted. I said “Doc I’m seeing blurry”. He passed something in front of my face; I thought I had to drink it so I opened my mouth. “You have to smell it not drink it” he said almost smiling at my mistake I assumed. I came to my senses as he bandaged up the ankle.
He then started talking about me needing weight loss tablets and subtly implying that the damage done to my ankle was because of my 200+ lbs. He gave me flyers and sent me on my way. I drove home and asked Sunita to take me to Balwant Singh Hospital. We waited a while at the hospital and it reminded me of the wait one had to endure at the Georgetown Public Hospital. I glanced around the waiting area out of curiosity and saw an old flame, she was pregnant.
Sunita went around completing all of the paperwork while I sat in the wheelchair. Eventually, the old flame came up and asked what’s wrong. I told her I just sprained my ankle, she looked…disappointed…no…relieved. Out of courtesy Sunita asked her what the sex of the baby was, she answered quite happily “It’s a boy! I’m so happy, I don’t want a girl, I don’t ever want a girl.” Sunita looked at me and smiled. We said nothing further and she left. Sunita nudged me “didn’t you want to tell her you have a girl?” I said to her it’s probably best to leave it as it is. Sunita mumbled under her breath but I still heard her “she probably doesn’t want a girl because of the things she has done in her life so far and she’s afraid a daughter might get those same traits”. I pretended not to hear and asked her to check on the doctor.
The doctor finally arrived 2 hrs later, sent me to get my ankle x-rayed and decided to put me in a cast. He said something about a hairline fracture. Never in my life was anything broken on me. I sulked as he made fun of my weight saying if I was lighter the damage would have been less severe. On my way home I had enough time to ponder on the 3 weeks I would be on leave. The tablets I would have to drink and all the other things that are going wrong in my life.
As I was self-reflecting, Sunita interrupted my thoughts. “Suresh, I don’t mean to kick you when you’re down but don’t you find it a little strange? A few months ago, you got kidney stones, now you fractured you foot. When will you see God is admonishing you for your bad ways?”
My foot is much better now; I still continued to drink regularly…and now I have chicken pox. It seems every time I drink I suffer some tragedy, so now I will have to stop. Ain’t life a bitch!
Eventually we finished bar hopping at around midnight, I took Mr. Khan home then continued the long drive to Mon Repos. I thought a lot about what Sunita said, Maliha was just a few months old and I had made a promise I would change my behaviour and be a good example, a good father to her. I replayed the events of the night in my head and planned my activities for the morning. Finally, I reached home, parked the car and went straight to the guest bedroom. No arguments and no fights, that’s how I liked it.
Sunita was in a sour mood that morning but she made breakfast and packed my lunch. Maliha was excited to see me, I held her a bit in my arms as I prepared to leave home. “Should I expect you home at midnight again?” Sunita asked dryly. “No babes, I’ll try to make it home early”, I said softly as I kissed Maliha and drove off.
My first stop was the University of Guyana; I had enrolled for a program there and had to pick up my UG ID card. I had shaved and dressed neatly for once, I wanted to make sure I looked good in the photo. The security guard glanced at me as if to say morning sir, but I ignored her and continued up the stairs to the Admissions section. Everything was processed quickly and I got my ID card, I hurried down the stairs, as I needed to attend a meeting at 10:00 hrs. Glancing at the ID to make sure everything was correct, I missed my footing and fell down the stairs. I was more embarrassed than hurt, as I gathered myself and hobbled down the remainder of the stairs.
I barely made it to the bottom and asked the guard, the one I just snubbed, if I could borrow her seat. I took off my socks to see my ankle was swollen so badly it was bigger than a cricket ball. The guard and a cleaner brought ice to put on the ankle, they blamed UG for not having better steps, reassured me everything was going to be fine and advised me to go to the Medical Center for treatment.
I called Sunita and told her what happened, she was speechless. I told her not to worry and I’ll call her when I decided on my next course of action. I then called Mr. Khan and explained that I will miss the meeting due to the injury. He suggested he can take me to Balwant Singh Hospital as my medical card would get me in quickly there. I thanked him and told him I will update him later. I cursed as I limped back to my car; 100 feet never seemed so long. I flopped down in the driver seat and sped off to the Medical Center; I parked as close as possible and hopped for an eternity until I reached to door of the Center.
The medic pressed the ankle in various places to see where hurts, everywhere hurts. He then decided to remove liquid that accumulated using a syringe, I didn’t think it was a good idea but didn’t object. The man pulled out about 2 syringes of blood and I nearly fainted. I said “Doc I’m seeing blurry”. He passed something in front of my face; I thought I had to drink it so I opened my mouth. “You have to smell it not drink it” he said almost smiling at my mistake I assumed. I came to my senses as he bandaged up the ankle.
He then started talking about me needing weight loss tablets and subtly implying that the damage done to my ankle was because of my 200+ lbs. He gave me flyers and sent me on my way. I drove home and asked Sunita to take me to Balwant Singh Hospital. We waited a while at the hospital and it reminded me of the wait one had to endure at the Georgetown Public Hospital. I glanced around the waiting area out of curiosity and saw an old flame, she was pregnant.
Sunita went around completing all of the paperwork while I sat in the wheelchair. Eventually, the old flame came up and asked what’s wrong. I told her I just sprained my ankle, she looked…disappointed…no…relieved. Out of courtesy Sunita asked her what the sex of the baby was, she answered quite happily “It’s a boy! I’m so happy, I don’t want a girl, I don’t ever want a girl.” Sunita looked at me and smiled. We said nothing further and she left. Sunita nudged me “didn’t you want to tell her you have a girl?” I said to her it’s probably best to leave it as it is. Sunita mumbled under her breath but I still heard her “she probably doesn’t want a girl because of the things she has done in her life so far and she’s afraid a daughter might get those same traits”. I pretended not to hear and asked her to check on the doctor.
The doctor finally arrived 2 hrs later, sent me to get my ankle x-rayed and decided to put me in a cast. He said something about a hairline fracture. Never in my life was anything broken on me. I sulked as he made fun of my weight saying if I was lighter the damage would have been less severe. On my way home I had enough time to ponder on the 3 weeks I would be on leave. The tablets I would have to drink and all the other things that are going wrong in my life.
As I was self-reflecting, Sunita interrupted my thoughts. “Suresh, I don’t mean to kick you when you’re down but don’t you find it a little strange? A few months ago, you got kidney stones, now you fractured you foot. When will you see God is admonishing you for your bad ways?”
My foot is much better now; I still continued to drink regularly…and now I have chicken pox. It seems every time I drink I suffer some tragedy, so now I will have to stop. Ain’t life a bitch!
Blog Description
This blog is another experiment in my seemingly boring life. It is not intended to thrill or please anyone but myself. I will write whatever I want, whenever I want, whitout consideration for anyone who feels offended. I will choose to publish whatever comments I want. If you have a problem with how I run my ship then walk the plank.
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