Denham Express

Denham Express 

TRASH

They found me whole and appealing
Something to adorn their egos
To compliment them in the process of achieving their goals
Or simply to satiate their innate desires

I was proud
I was useful
I shone brightly
Illuminating their minds
And setting ablaze their damp thoughts

I brought color to their lives
Expanding their horizons of possibilities
I brought love
I brought affection
I brought myself
I thought that would be enough
I thought I was enough

But I was wrong
After I laid myself bare
And there was nothing left in me
There was nothing left of me
The veils began to fall
It was the final curtain call

I lost my lustre and my spark
My once bright aura has turned dark
To love became exhausting
My love needed replenishing
My world was crumbling
Life became suffocating

So I've outlived my purpose
I'm no longer illuminating
I've become dull and unappealing
And even considered revolting

They placed me in the containment of silence
Something to keep at an arm's length
Not worth the effort to fix
Not necessary to be fixed

So I'm placed by the curb where broken things go
To be removed from the sights of people I once knew
To be buried alive in the waste land of not
Not good enough to be cared for
Not good enough to be loved
Not good enough to fought for
Not good enough to be saved

Not good enough to be saved...

To...be...saved...

Memories

I sit here alone in the dark
Wondering why I'm falling apart
So many thoughts flooding my mind
Tearing me down from the inside

The Universe has conspired against me
It gave me a glimpse of a future so heavenly 
It showed me how perfect my life could be
Then slowly pushed it away from me

And now I'm left holding on to nothing 
In the sea of my thoughts I'm slowly drowning 
And the sweet memories have now turned menacing 
Oh how they mock me, I am now nothing 

Indulgence

Maybe I will never know your love 

Or be the one that you usually dream of 

Maybe your heart will never be mine

And I'll never see the look of desire in your eyes 

Maybe you're not mine to have and to hold

And I will find myself locked out in the cold

Maybe the memories we make won't last 

And I find myself a prisoner of the past

Maybe I'm not good enough to be your man

God knows I really tried to be a better man

Maybe it isn't written in the stars

Maybe it's fate to have a heart full of scars

Maybe you'll think of me once in a while 

The unfortunate soul who loved you out of time

And maybe that would make you smile 

To know that you're loved beyond the barriers of time 

Kamikaze

 Maybe I'm not worthy of your love

Maybe your scars weren't meant to dissolve

Maybe I'm not worthy of your time

Maybe they had to dull your shine

The cracks in your armour have left you vulnerable

The shattering of your heart has left you full of anger

They treated so well but all left in the end

It makes you wonder if it was something you did or said

Consume me in your anger and mould me with your hate

Pour me over your broken pieces and make yourself whole again 

Break me with your words and strip me to the core

Use me to undo all the damages done to your soul

When you've had your fill and your satisfaction is complete 

Maybe then you will create a little space in your heart for me

Broken

 Broken!

Strong, independent woman who's not afraid to pursue her dreams

Selfish!

Because she dares to practice selflove and states her wants and her needs 

Bitch!

Because she called you out on your bullshit, your inadequacies and your uselessness

Demanding!

Because she expects you to walk beside her, to be a man, and to give it your very best

Ugly!

Because she exposes the wickedness of your heart, the filth in your mind, the emptiness in your soul

Broken!

Strong, independent woman, has broken the yoke of society's hypocritical lore and your claim to her soul 

Incomplete

I was relentless in the beginning
It was so intense
I didn't care about the consequences
I just needed to get my fix
I placed you on a pedestal
I wrapped you in my ideals
But you are only human
Not the goddess I thought you should be