Thoughts.....

Sometimes I wonder if I should be someone else, somewhere else or shouldn't be here at all...

Thoughts can be conflicting, confusing and generally counterproductive..but they had to have a genesis...

At this point in life, I'm not doing bad...by the grace of God. I have a lovely family and I've found my way back to the Almighty. I don't have a great job but I'm grateful for it.

I've been generally ungrateful and boastful for most of my life, I was given many opportunities and have been blessed with many things. I was too blind to appreciate what I had and I kept wanting more of everything.

My thoughts tormented me, pushing me further towards self-destruction and suicide, the more I tried to fulfill the cravings and urges the more empty I became, the more I resented everyone and eventually...myself...

Are we born truly evil, with evil thoughts hiding under the surface hoping for a chance to get out...where did these thoughts originate? They drive me insane, they torment me because I choose to ignore them...