Lost In The Echo....

I've always been attracted to songs sound in minor keys with melancholic flavours bursting at the seams. That is why I'm so drawn to the last two Linkin Park's albums - A Thousand Suns and Living Things. There are a few stand out songs from Minutes to Midnight and the other albums such as Valentine's Day, My December, Leave Out All The Rest, Shadow Of The Day and The Little Things Give You Away... just to name a few. As is noted of me...I digress once more.

From Living Things alone there are so many good songs its hard to pick out an average song in the album. The videos are simple but telling.

The video for this song and the song itself (while looking at the video) has reached deep into my heart and tore open wounds I thought were healed and covered over.

For one it reminded me of old girlfriends that seemed to drift out of my life with no explanation and just faded away becoming distant memories. Of love lost and missed chances...of perhaps regrets and resentfulness.

On a deeper level it reminded me of my father's demise 7 years ago...he was 48 yrs old at the time. He died of hypertension or what we call stroke. A blood vessel in his head burst, he slipped into a coma and died 12 hrs later...

So many unanswered questions, so many dreams left unfulfilled, so many plans that never got off the ground...so many promises...broken...

I have a 3 yr old daughter who will never get to know her paternal grandfather. Being the talkative and inquisitive child that she is, she usually ask me..."where is your father daddy?" With a strained voice I tell her that my father is dead. In her usual trademark Naiara mode "but why he is dead daddy?" I then have to relive the pain and hurt his passing caused while I explained to her why he is dead.

The same feeling I get when I answer my daughter is the same feeling I get when I watch the video. In a weird way, having those suppressed feeling rise to the surface bursting through the barrier of memories hidden to protect the heart, actually bring a bit of relief to my already jagged heart...

I guess now I  can't tell you to enjoy the song as I may have also made you depressed by telling you about my sad stories.