The flower and the weed

I look for you among the meandering crowd

Among the nameless, faceless, directionless flood

Yet you are not there, then again why would you be?

A precious flower would not dwell with weeds

But here I am within that same crowd

Dare to dream that I'm worthy of your love

Wondering how I could escape this hold

This mindset of mediocre goals

So I look for you on some lonely path

Knowing that they're yours to chart

Moving  away from the maddening crowd

The silence of our ignorance so astonishingly loud

I  look for you but you're not there

How can my Princess just disappear?

Why can't I find you, the one whom I seek?

Why do you elude me like a restful night' sleep?

But you have seen me from a far way off

You silently watch me navigate the crowd

As I struggled to escape the all consuming flood

As I call out to you not knowing where to turn

Then after all is said and done

Reality has rocked the foundation of love

How could the universe allow this travesty

Where a flower would actually love a weed

For The Princess Surreal

In the dead of the night when the monsters are asleep 

When the dew drops on the roof seem muffled and weak 

When the night insects around me silence themselves 

And the coldness engulfs me casting its spell

I lay prostrate in the darkness mimicking the night 

A calmness on the outside but a cold turmoil inside 

I want to gaze upon your angelic face 

And kiss your lips full of wonders and grace

My mind is tormented because you are not here 

The dreams have departed and now my soul is laid bare 

I call out to you hoping the dreams would reappear 

I need you within me I need you like air

The Princess Surreal

You were supposed to be my escape
The one in my dreams when realities alternate
An angelic face with a captivating mind
A treasure crafted by the Divine

Eventually you crossed a forbidden line
And reconfigured the thought processes in my mind
Now I think about you all the time
And I think I'm losing my mind

So here's to you girl of my dreams
I found myself in places I've never been
Visited enchanted kingdoms that were never real
To catch a glimpse of the Princess Surreal

The little things

Maybe it's the little things you say
Or perhaps the little things you do
The slight change in your demeanor
The faint smile across your lips
Hmmm it could be the way you move your hips...

The flickering of a broken bulb
The awkward silence when we're alone
The broken heart that has gone numb
The shattered trust of the kindest soul
The epitaph of a love grown cold...

Things are not what they used to be
What we had are now faded memories
These little changes have opened my eyes to see
This is the end of my reality
A monument of a tragedy....

Edge Of Insanity

I stand at the edge of this precipice contemplating my reasons for being here
Was it the wrong choices made and the consequences to pay
Was it fate and a destiny so designed
Or was it a chance to test my ability to fly

There's nothing left to go back to
There's no way to turn back
All my bridges have been burnt
But the lessons remained unlearnt.

Talking for hours was a thing of the past
Conversation so strained that it takes much effort to last
I wish I could caress you and say it's alright
It cuts like a knife to know I'm the reason for your plight

As I linger here at the edge of my mind
My sanity is questioned about every wrong choice made in my life
Maybe letting go will bring freedom to my mind
It takes so damn much effort to cling to this life

Phoenix - 2 am rant

Will you remember me when I'm gone
Will you you remember the morning kisses and the awkward goodbyes
Will you remember the way I brush the hair from your face
And the often forced embrace...

Of course you won't because you despised those things
Not really those things but the person it seems
My touch is revolting it makes you nauseated
You said it made you feel violated

But what can I do and where could I go
When I touch you I feel safe and secure
When I touch you I get the strength to go on
When I touch you all my problems are gone

So I have to die to move on
An undeserving soul with no way to carry on
Baptized by fire a cleansing of the soul
Perhaps one day a Phoenix will rise and accomplish the unfinished goals

When darkness falls

When darkness falls and all is gone
When the busy day has turned to calm
When the mental Novocaine no longer numbs
When the night-time terrors flood the background

When the dread of night creeps up so close
I can hear its heavy-breathing nose
Upon the nape of my vulnerable neck
Too scared to turn around and check

When everyone has said their goodnight
And not a soul is left in sight
When the real voices have simmered down
And the creeping shadows hit their gongs

When I can hear my heart beating in my chest
And the dread of silence stifles my breath
When my open mouth is mute
And my mind is searching for the truth

Left all alone with thoughts that confuse
Afraid of the man I came to exude
Tormented by choices that do not make sense
Destroying a future that was heaven sent

When everything is done and I close my eyes
As I lay on my bed with no one by my side
I think back to a simpler time
Before distrust and discontent eroded my mind    

I was a salesman...

She grew up in a home of farmers
I grew up in home of vendors
She expected me to work with my hands
Because that's what real men do
I tried...but my best wasn't good enough
I was a failure, I was not a "real" man
She was seething, she had to so something
She farmed to make up for my shortcomings
And I....stopped...everything...